


Admiration

by BandagedRabbit



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, reminiscence from the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 12:09:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16764868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BandagedRabbit/pseuds/BandagedRabbit
Summary: Winter mornings sometimes are filled with thoughts, ghosts from the past and situations where you wished to be better, nothing about regret but maybe a 'What if I did this instead that' but sometimes, when you look around and see your loved one sleeping peacefully, finally having some rest after a long week filled with work; that 'what if' gets transformed on 'I'm thankful of what I have' and 'I did my best'.And Momo did his best and he got his reward.





	Admiration

The first time Momo met Re:vale, he thought his heart was going to stop; his ears wouldn’t give credit to what he was about to hear, a melodious voice, entrancing lyrics. Yuki’s music stole his everything right in that instant; his fears, his pain, leaving only a smile upon his face. For the first time he didn’t blame himself about his injury. The frustration wouldn’t follow him anymore.

It was like a charm, Yuki made his feelings into a song. His singing was like magic that freed him of his despair, despite how he was _not even aware of it_.

**―*** **―**

Momo thought that if he was able to at least breathe the same air as Yuki, he would be fine.

Going to his lives, listening to his songs; he was so far away. But even though the distance was just some meters, he felt blessed just for being able to appreciate it.

Although sometimes it felt like _it wasn’t enough_.

It wasn’t enough just to share a couple of looks from him whenever he was on the stage or to sing his songs until his throat would feel dry.

Momo wanted to be closer and he didn’t care how. Maybe to hold his hand during a greeting. He pondered, were Yuki and Ban the same off-stage? He couldn’t help but wonder and he couldn’t stop his growing interest in the person _who saved_ _him_ with his lyrics.

He sent a letter, trying to convey his feelings and hoping he was able to write something coherent within his words of praise. If he was a bit more talented he would write a song back, but that’s all he could do for now. It was the intention what mattered.

**―*** **―**

When the Bloody Eve incident happened and it gave Momo the excuse to be able to talk to them, they were kind and listened to him, even if he was just a bunch of apologies instead a person.

Banri mentioned his letter and Momo wanted to hide behind a rock. He wasn’t able to sleep that night.

**―*** **―**

Momo started to work backstage and Yuki would always search for him to show him his compositions, wanting to eat with him, or just being able to spend some minutes with him, but Momo would always reject him. He felt unworthy, nervous and embarrassed, he couldn’t handle being with someone like him who shined like a star. Yuki just called for attention and Momo felt like he had stared the sun for too long time.

He wanted to reply to the composer’s expectations, but it was hard. What made it worse was if he dared to remember the bad impression he left on Re:vale when he showed up kicking the other band like if they were some kind of trash.

**―*** **―**

Banri got hurt and Yuki was crying incessantly and all Momo could do was to just pray that Banri would get better. It was too much for his heart to handle, two of the people who he cared for the most were wounded and there wasn’t anything that he could do but wait.

When Momo was informed about Banri’s disappearance and Yuki quitting music, he felt miserable. It was like the same desolation he felt when his coach told him he couldn’t go to the regionals. He got out from the office and wandered around the city in search of a sign, something that he could do for them.

While he walked, he remembered that Yuki had given him his address to bring him some machines to work with at home. With that in mind, he walked, until he started to run at some point in desperation.

Arriving at Yuki’s place was an odyssey, but actually ringing his doorbell and talking to him sounded worse. It took all of bravery he had for Momo to actually open his mouth- and when he decided to do it, Yuki was outside, staring him blankly.

**―Yuki-san, please don’t stop singing.**

All that he received as a reply was an empty shut of the door and some painful words.

**―Leave and never come back.**

Momo could see how Yuki was shattered in a way he knew that he couldn’t fix by himself. His eyes were vacant, red and swollen, his face was too pale. He actually wondered if he was even eating.

A big worry grew inside his chest.

**―*** **―**

Contrary to his expectations, Momo came back, not once, but five to ten times, until Yuki lost count. He stayed the whole month at his door acting like a guard dog and he didn’t know how to make him leave, since he knew that he was just being completely stubborn and feeling utterly concerned about him.

The younger kept insisting _‘Please sing again, Yuki-san!’ ’If you don’t want to do it alone, I’ll sing with you!’ ’Let’s become famous so you can search for Ban-san!’ ‘Team up with me for this five years, I swear I’ll search with you’_ and Yuki wasn’t able to shut his ears, to ignore his anxious request. He really loved Re:vale more than anything, to the point he felt that Momo loved Re:vale more than anyone else.

One day he lost his composure and gave up, allowing Momo to get up and meet his eyes.

**―Alright…I’ll do it, I’ll…team up with you.**

**―*** **―**

They were on the top for a second, being able to become pros in the industry and signing a contract with an agency, but everything had to fall down at some point, it was just how the world worked.

It was hard to watch Yuki, because Momo got joy from being at his prideful side, gallant and independent to the point he looked like he didn’t need anyone other than himself; but he had become reduced to nothing but a hollow version of himself.

He wasn’t able to cook, his jobs didn’t last for more than just a few days because his employers couldn’t stand him, and he wasn’t able to compose anymore.

Watching how Yuki struggled trying to peel a potato, getting home with frustrated expressions or just looking at him whenever he tried to write something made his heart ache.

That’s when he thought that his wings, like a wounded bird, wouldn’t let him fly anymore.

Momo took more shifts, got home late, and didn’t eat too much in order to give him his portion. Sometimes he would lie about being hungry so Yuki could eat more, but that ended up giving him problems at work because he would feel dizzy mostly all of the time. They couldn’t afford meat, so whenever he had to serve it, he would gulp and try to cope.

When Momo was back, he would cook soft things, like eggs, so Yuki could cut it with a fork, avoiding what would make him remember the recent trauma. He knew Yuki wasn’t fine, thus he would smile for him and cheer up for them both.

Sometimes he felt like he had no strength, but he knew Ban was always there for Yuki and he needed to be a worthy replacement. He offered himself for it and it would be a shame if he couldn’t bear fulfilling his role.

At some point Yuki was able to do a proper composition and Momo couldn’t stop his tears, he knew he wasn’t strong enough to properly encourage his partner, but still he tried his best, even if his best wasn’t enough. Even right now, when all he should do was smile and praise him for doing a good job, he was sobbing like a lost child.

**―…I tried so hard, Yuki-san …but still I’m just a burden…If I was able to sing better, if I was able to distribute our money better like Ban-san…you wouldn’t make that gloomy face…**

Yuki’s embrace was warm, even if he was said to be like the snow that would fall the next day, his warmth was felt throughout his body.

**―…Being with you makes me happy, Momo. I’m always grateful to have you, thank you for being here.**

It was just a phrase, not that long, not that short, but meaningful. Yuki said all that he needed and for first time he felt treasured by someone else than his family.

He felt needed, he felt like he made a change just by existing.

**―*** **―**

Momo stroked his cheek softly, he looked tired. Yuki didn’t react at first, until his boyfriend kissed his lips.

**―Hey…good morning.**

**―…Hnh, why are you up so early…**

**―I was thinking about the time when you got at home with that delicious meat while it was snowing…it was the best meat I had in my life!**

**―Do you want to eat meat now?**

**―It’s not that…it just tasted better because you bought it for me…also your expression made me say _‘Oh, I think I fell in love.’_**

**―…That’s so embarrassing, shut up… I thought you fell in love with me the first time we met, so that was a lie, huh.**

Yuki replied while wrapping himself up like a burrito, while Momo kept poking his sides, entertained with his reactions.

**― I wouldn’t EVER lie to you! At first I just loved you platonically…but at some point I thought _‘he isn’t perfect but it’s perfect for me’…_**

**―You’re so cheesy, the emperor of cheesiness, chessimomo…**

Yuki clapped his hands softly and Momo kept laughing, throwing himself next to him.

**―This emperor needs his empress too!**

**―The empress needs his beauty sleep.**

Momo pouted and Yuki kissed him, closing his eyes and letting the warmth and his sleepiness lead him back to his pillow.

**―I’m so glad you’re with me, Yuki…**

**―I’m glad you stay with me, Momo.**

They embraced each other and knew that even if it was snowing again, they would surely never lose the warmth of one another.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Vampy! (@HopefulNegito on twitter) for being my partner on this bang, she has a wonderful style and I'm really thankful she got paired with me! 
> 
> You can look her art here!: http://hopefulonion.tumblr.com/tagged/vampy+art
> 
> And the work she made for my fic is here!: https://twitter.com/HopefulNegito/status/1067545805173583872


End file.
